I just made out with a guy for $7.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
