She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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