I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
