Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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