i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
