she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Screwed.edu
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
