How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
