she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW