Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
