so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
