Texts From Last Night

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  (831): View more from California

  my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.

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  (831): my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens. http://tfl.nu/mq1e
  Replies (14) Good night (3134) Bad night (558)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson

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  (631): Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson http://tfl.nu/hv6u
  Replies (27) Good night (808) Bad night (2647)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Quoting wale wont save you from herpes

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  (703): Quoting wale wont save you from herpes http://tfl.nu/v00t
  Replies (29) Good night (714) Bad night (2696)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.

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  (425): I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up. http://tfl.nu/h9rh
  Replies (18) Good night (3767) Bad night (955)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check

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  (847): there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check http://tfl.nu/dzvq
  Replies (7) Good night (4102) Bad night (1370)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy

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  (908): i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy http://tfl.nu/exgt
  Replies (7) Good night (1163) Bad night (2905)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz

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  (870): God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz http://tfl.nu/dral
  Replies (4) Good night (2295) Bad night (1157)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride

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  (702): Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride http://tfl.nu/xs6r
  Replies (9) Good night (3796) Bad night (1348)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.

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  (402): We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere. http://tfl.nu/yzs5
  Replies (3) Good night (2376) Bad night (773)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis

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  (850): It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis http://tfl.nu/b0bh
  Replies (3) Good night (1426) Bad night (530)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back

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  (540): I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back http://tfl.nu/d3ys
  Replies (5) Good night (920) Bad night (427)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.

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  (423): The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups. http://tfl.nu/v1g8
  Replies (1) Good night (2540) Bad night (479)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.

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  (202): So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay. http://tfl.nu/ivx8
  Replies (4) Good night (892) Bad night (478)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.

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  (786): When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock. http://tfl.nu/2333
  Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (299)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot

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  (207): he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot http://tfl.nu/t6zb
  Replies (2) Good night (278) Bad night (632)

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