There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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