You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
