Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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