i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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