And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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