my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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