Plan B is the new Plan A
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have feelings that need drinking.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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