one two three fourrrrnication!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
