Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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