I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
