I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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