I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Can I color on your dick again?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
