so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize