My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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