yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
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I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
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If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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