I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.