so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?