I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments