cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet