I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you win again, gameday.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
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