yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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