is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
