If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
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I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
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I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.