dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.