I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa