If i come over, it means nothing
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I want her autograph on my taint
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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