He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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