is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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