Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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