It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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