Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
