i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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