I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I understand Curling. That high.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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