look no pants
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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