white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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