Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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