MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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