I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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