I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
