So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
