well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
