i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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