yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
