piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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