Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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