yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
