I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
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Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
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Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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