Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize