I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
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Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
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Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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