is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Every concussion has its silver lining
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
