dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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