And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
