Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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