A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Small penises have feelings too.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
