I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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