is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
