hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
